Thursday Hate: The more they protest...

...the more guilty they are.

There was nothing going on behind the scenes. Sure, Roland. Transcript here, audio here.

Listen to his voice. And Rob sounds like a child molester trying to lure a kid into his van.

It makes my eardrums slimy.



(Thanks to Tankboy for sharing)

TCW Toolbox: Be PRO, or what NOT to say on the podium

Is this Heaven?

Actually...it’s Iowa.

If you’d have asked either myself, Peter, Noelle, or Seth this question Sunday night in Muscatine, the sun setting on a hot, hard day over the fast food joints and strip malls outside our cramped hotel room, we’d have said, “no, it’s hell.”

Noelle was with us for her virgin foray up the Snake and in fact her first race of the year. I was going for the win after my top 10 in the 4s last year. Peter had the same aspirations for the 3s event, and while Seth was recovering from his recently broken ribs, he is still one skinny dude and a hell of a climber.

By day’s end, Noelle was dropped early, I’d finished 27th after starting in the front row, sweaty and snotty, slow and weak. Peter was strong early, riding off the front like a he-man, but fell back to the last money spot, and Seth only lasted five laps before getting pulled.

What form! What panache! (Photo by Ryan Fay)

Sunday in Muscatine was even worse, relatively. Noelle was off the back and time trialing alone. I finished 13th in the 4s, unable to get through the clusterf*** at the top of the hill (but the speed bump was fun, especially at 40mph - best part of the race...I am going to LOVE CX!)before the last turn. Then I doubled up for the open Masters 30+ lining up right next to Andy Crater and Dewayne Dickey, two former pros and got dropped in two and half laps. 2nd lap in I was right with them up the hill until Crater attacked through the tight chicane turn before the start/finish.

Gap.

I tried to close it, triedtriedtried...died. They came around after turn 1, before the descent to the speedbump and I tried to recover. But after landing (yes, landing) the hammering started and the gap opened again like a battle axe wound up the hill. Past the line again the motorcycle passed me and left me for dead. One more lap alone, I couldn’t see them at all. I figured I better get out of the way and save them the trouble of pulling me since it wouldn’t be long before they did. Besides, the hot dogs smelled pretty good.

Peter was sitting in the 3s like a patient tiger, then working his way up when he had the worst luck in the world, crashing out sitting 4th wheel on the last turn before the finish.

Seth was dropped with 7 laps to go in the pros race. From my vantage point on the grassy knoll by the final, chicane turn, Crater and legend Steve Tilford would come by breathing like steam locomotives, chugging rhythm to their cadence, at 25mph. Everyone behind them was grimacing in pain. Recovering from broken bones cannot be easy at that level.

So come today in Rock Island I grudgingly put on the kit, and half-heartedly warmed up, while Noelle stayed with her group, and laid down a really powerful sprint. Meanwhile, I moped around the side streets...I won’t say just how low I was Sunday night, but it was down there. Yet when I saw Mike Seguin’s beaming face just off the course, with 30 minutes to go time for the Master’s 30+ 4/5, it couldn’t help but put me into a racing mood.

(Photo by Matt Dawley)

I guess I raced angry, or at least with out any self-applied pressure, never sitting further back than 10th wheel. My bike handling skills are immeasurably better this year after all the descending in SLO and Asheville. I maybe touched the brakes twice on one of the more technical courses out there (the HED Stingers I now own let me bank my Max Lelli into next Tuesday. I still can’t believe I own wheels like that). I did a lot of work trying to bring one dangerous break back - a counter attack by a much stronger rider who went off as a less threatening move easily came back - or maybe get off in it...but 3 laps to go we were back in. One to go everyone jumps. By turn five holes are everywhere as they run out of steam. Seegs is sitting 4th wheel, and I’m right behind, when maybe 50 yard to turn 7 they go four wide.

I remembered Randy saying to me, “first person through turn 7 and 8 wins that race. Do whatever you have to and be first.”

So I did. I came around, and took the turn inside, but clean, Seegs whooping and then yelling at me immediately to GO FASTER. Shifter goes clunk. I go faster. Seegs: “FASTER!!!” Shifter goes clunk. “FASTER!!!”

Turn 8.

For the first time in my 3 years of racing I see the line. With nobody in front of me.

And then I see Seegs.

FTW.

Another guy right on his wheel. I throw, just like Coach Randy taught me, and get 3rd by maybe 2 inches.

All the frustration and anger and bitterness came rushing out of me in two huge barbaric yawps that echoed off the river town’s brick downtown buildings.

It made all the pain go away - a team win.

(Ryan Fay)

We tried to turn it around, and we did to an extent in the 4s race, but those damn juniors in front of us, 5 of them, held their gap from the their jump with one to go. Rewind to the start: Seegs is off the front immediately breakin’ legs, then chasing down other nascent breaks, while I sit in. It was team work between the two of us all day long. 7 laps to go I come by and ask how he feels, and I can’t really understand what he’s saying, I realize he needs to recover. 2 turns later, I had to take a dig to bring back a junior when nobody else would chase. The Mesa 14 year old who took 3rd at Snake Alley and won in the Melon 4s was off in a growing gap while two of his teammates blocked. Once back in I went to the back to recover and it took me until turn 3 of the last lap to get back up to where I could yell at Seegs, “yo! Outside!”

He faded left, I jumped on his wheel, and we tried like hell to close the gap to the five strong juniors in front of us, but coming through the last 2 turns to the finish we just didn’t have enough time. And after five races in three days, just not enough gas.

Yet we still finished in the money twice that day, and both of us made the podium. I now had $120 extra in my pocket as well.

Peter stuck a break of originally four, riding two others into the ground, for 2nd place and talked the winner out of his champagne. The speed of their effort absolutely destroyed the field in the only race that received real rain. Early crashes in the wet corners left gaps everywhere, and when they were out of sight from the main field once it finally reorganized to chase, their gap grew to almost a minute.

And Seth stayed with the P/1/2 pack, and finished in the top 50 in a race where he really never used a gear less than 53X14.

The ride home from Iowa was indeed heavenly.

I'll stop being the drama queen...

...I ended up making $120 this weekend. After all of us went to bed Sunday night dejected and feeling like complete losers, we all turned our road trip around today in Rock Island. Seth finished in the top 50 of his Pro/1/2 field, Peter took 2nd in an absolutely blistering break in a rain-soaked 3s race, dropping two other riders and finishing with a gap of almost a minute. Noelle stayed with her group and finished so strong she nearly broke her bike (and her collarbone...) And, oh yeah...I led out Seegs FTW in the Masters 30+ 4/5, keeping sloppy thirds for myself, and he returned the favor in the 4s race, netting me 6th. It would've also been FTW had those damn juniors not had a gap for the on the last lap. We nearly closed it but those last two turns are too close the line.

Pictures soon.

The weekend so far...

What, were you hoping for some sort of race report? Try here. I'm sure there will be some good ones after this weekend.

Joe Namath is a drunk and a pervert. Fuck him.

The weather here's been good. The company even better. But I'm looking forward to getting home as soon as possible.

Well, well, well...

The sun was out, the heat is back, and walking Jack home from the park this evening through lush green leaves and grass was absolute heaven. Memorial Day is almost here, the official unofficial first day of summer.

While I'm sorry to say I'll be missing my first Bike the Drive since 2004, I'm proud to say, Joe Namath-style, that I will be picking up those ever-elusive Cat 3 upgrade points in Iowa this weekend.

I guarantee it. I may as well be calling myself out at this point. It needs to happen. I have got to get angry and hungry, and this is the weekend to do it. Snake Alley has always been good to me, and this year, I think a victory is within my reach. I've been climbing well for a non-climber, and this is a non-climbers race. The Snake is short and painful, and it needs brute strength and no brains. My kinda race.



I am excited to be staying the entire weekend, as we'll get to stick around finally and watch the pros (and Seth and JT) do the brutally hard 20 laps.

Sunday is the Melon City Criterium - two heats. A fast, hilly course that requires, according to my coach, a 100% all out effort on the last lap to stay no less than three wheels back. That's the podium right there. Any further back you will lose, he says, and worse, are risking a crash on the last turn. Again, my kind of race: my only two podiums have come during races in which I actually feared for my life.

Monday is a classic, the Quad Cities Criterium - also two heats. An eight-corner hourglass course, great practice for the State championship in Peroria, and packed fields full of hungry, competitive riders.

I've seen enough of the middle of the pack and the top-ten finishers sweaty asses. I am no longer going to be afraid of cracking, crashing, or choking. I will make my mark on these races, you can be sure of that. I have the strength. I put in the 8th best time in for XXX's fitness check time trial on Wendesday, and a new personal record for me. Now I just gotta use what I know I have. Spending the kind of money that a four-day trip for five races requires will put you in that frame of mind.

If you are sticking around town however, and haven't registered for Bike the Drive, do so now. It's the biggest fundraiser of the year for the Active Transportation Alliance (formerly the BikeFed) and as they go, so goes bicycling in Chicago.

And the Chicago Cycling Examiner has a new article up as well...How to make the most of your 2009 Bike the Drive.

Lost

Floating for years on the bobbing waves,
trailing my fingers in the swirling eddies,
I've only known the bone dry driftwood
lashed beneath me - white, hot, hard.

Lying under the blue dome of mem'ry
The bright sunshine wipes clean any
Pain from past days, other lives, old friends
There is only the breeze and smiling clouds.

Only a scent on the air, full of promise
Or a squawking bird, giving a tease
That I may slake my empty longing
On a wet, sandy beach - with shade and drinking.

But I float on, trailing my fingers
Heartened by the smile in the vapors,
Those wispy, gleaming teeth above
Promising yet another day of only love.