From Martyr to Gladiator

A sun-baked statue, in the crowd's dull murmur
Bathes in the gaze of an unrestrained fervor.
The glint of my sharpened blade cuts just as deep
As the eyes of the lion pierce my will to resist.

Prayers alone once gave me the strength to leap
Providing a mantel on which courage to keep.
In that giddy state I’d give his mouth my wrists
And fall to my knees to await pity and capture.

Yet the spit from the mass would only persist
A frothing and oily anger, screamed and hissed.
Still slick with naiveté, I’d only stare and demure
At the shadowy hate - backlit madness - and weep.

The heat of the sun sucked up, one-by-one, my tears
And breathed life into a single flower, sown in fears.
And the petals grew black, grown sour in the heat -
I’ll give spit, sweat but no more my own blood.

At this affront, the crowd stood in their seats,
And cried, showered me in their graces and screamed
With love for me, for my birth from that bud,
For my certain death by teeth, club and spear.

Now that I fight with the beast in the mud,
Not accepting release from his bite in the flood
Of hurled spite and venom, and rotten sneers -
I stand in the sun and welcome my defeat.

Monday's Perspective

Good times in Hillsboro on Saturday, even with nothing near the result I wanted.

Our race stayed together until the end, and first race jitters kept me from going out on my own, like I'd told myself I would at least try. Moyer, Briney, William, Wiberg, Stocky, and I had a lot to do with keeping it together however. But I could think of a couple of moments when, just after chasing a break down, or when Wiberg's and William's own break was reeled back in, where I should have just kept on going. All it could've needed was one more push. Hindsight is foresight...

Coming into the feedhill on the last lap I was off Moyer's wheel by about three or four bikes when he attacked, and I could not get my legs to go any faster. As I started going backwards, lots of people went around the gap and there I was. I recall seeing William finish about 50 yards in front of me with a few in between and he was 21st, he told me. So I was 25th maybe.

I can't remember if I big-ringed everything last year, but I did race with a 27 cluster back then. This year I did big-ring it all, and rode with a 23. Maybe that was ambitious? I climbed much stronger last year, or maybe the pace was that much higher this year, but in either case that hill just KILLED my legs on Saturday. My heart rate was not elevated, however. I'm not sure if I saw 180 all day. I raced in the Stingers and I just had the HR on. No idea - I have to download the data now.

It was a fun race to be sure - a great way to kick off the season. Plus I rode the new Stingers - tubies - and the wheels felt GREAT. I kept them just a bit underinflated and they took the bumpy turns sure and true. Smooth and great power over the cobbles.

I can't wait for a nice flat crit to race those on. But I'll have to have a better strategy in place for my next race, which is Baraboo, in actuality. It will be a good one since it's 2 weeks after Asheville, but I'll have to be more mentally ready for that climb.

The next two weeks, however, are just very hard training. The first sprint clinic, Fit Check Time Trial - both in sub-40 degree temps - and then a long team ride on Saturday. Sunday will a Delucca ride followed by breakfast at my place with anyone who'd like to join in pancakes and an online stream of Paris-Roubaix. Then a week from this Wednesday I leave for Asheville. Nothing more to say about that trip.

Well, other than I love the Asheville camp and have been looking forward to it all year. But I'll be happy just to find some Baraboo legs there. At the very least I'll finally be able to stop spending money on camps and get a couch. But then Moyer just pointed out a man has to have his priorities. After all, couches make you softer, camps make you harder. I better put this one to good use for the 'Boo.

Stijn!!!

See you at the line

Off to Hillsboro.

Some required listening for the warm up with the iPod.

Race safely!

A hateful, hateful Sunday...

Sick yesterday - missed out on all the fun.

Snow today - s'no chance at any fun. Except pancakes. And coffee. Which ain't bad, but still...the trainer?? At least Jack had a great time out in the park with all the other kids...



What sweet, bitter irony - seeing how much I idolize Hampsten for his Gavia win. Lame. Joseph Heller couldn't have written it more heartrendingly hilarious.

Goddammit.

Ow.

Guess which is the ride down to UIC...and when the peak power output test started?

Best. Hump Day. Ever.

I'm back.

Thanks to my upstairs neighbor for opening up his wireless router while I wait for Comcast to get out here. (having a hard time writing - my fingers are still stiff from the ride...isn't it almost April? Dammit. Warm up already.)

Well, the bees ended up with the boy after all. I got the the burrito this time, and here I am, in my new place, with Jack, warming up and satisfied after a fun first Turin ride, very early in the season for me, after a MHD (mental health day) spent unpacking and grocery shopping.

The new digs and my living situation are astoundingly good, almost too good to be true. Knock on cyberspace - I hope the economic situation begins to improve soon. A layoff now would be catastrophic - like when Homer Simpson gets the job at the bowling alley and then starts having kids. So since nothing lasts forever, I'm going to make the most of this chapter of my life.

I woke up this morning at 5:15, and the thought of getting home at 8pm to the sight of all those unpacked boxes nearly made me cry. So I dialed up my boss right then and there and said, "I need a day to myself, to get my shit together. And get it together I did.

Even with his first two week days here in Independence Park spent largely alone during the day, Jack has died and gone to Doggie Heaven. And this morning must have been like getting to see the Hydrant himself. We spent almost an hour in the park, on the tennis courts with Luna and Pee Wee and the others. He showed me he could fetch, and get along with everyone. (I used to blame every chewed DVD and book on him back in Logan, but there's been nary a one when I've gotten home. Must've been that "other dog."




I called my dad, stepdad, brother, made a huge breakfast, unpacked every box, did three loads of laundry, listened to NPR all day and nearly finished the bike room. It's got a bit more work needed, after Jack decided to go "finger-painting" in there last night after Mark had just finished laying down the coat on the floor.

Oops.



Then it was time to get dressed for the Midweek Gem, the Turin ride. Took my new, generous upstairs neighbor with me. After a flat change (in four minutes, Randy! - still long enough for Daley and Smitty roll by and laugh) at Custer and Main - we were off on my first Turin ride of the year.

I have a power test at the Dugas lab, UIC, tomorrow so I was hoping to just get my prescribed three hours at pace in. The group broke up however just after Ravinia on Smitty's flat tire, and I rolled with a 2CCer and a guy a Mapei jersey after turning around at the Metra crossing in Highwood. The gates were down, and it was getting dark, so I just turned around. We all regrouped however at Green Bay when Smitty took a long hard pull, putting all of us at about 85% when Daley launched off the front as the road angles south. Have fun with that. I rejoined at the Scott turn and the same thing went down on Sheridan, into Keniworth.

So I am home, and am eating dinner. It's a stir fry concoction, with chow fun rice noodles, some mustard and soy, with peas, carrots, onion, and topped with salmon fillet and some Rooster sauce. I got a book on wok cooking years ago, and it's really made it easy to improvise with Asian cooking. As long as you have some basic ingredients and a little creativity, you ready to go.



It's time for bed. I really needed a day like this today...I feel normal again.

Coming soon...

Sorry for the lack of posts...just moved and finally have internet access back.

Turin ride tonight, then making a salmon stirfry...will get a good hump day catch up in over dinner.