"It never gets any easier. You just go faster." ---Greg Lemond
"Don't buy upgrades. Ride up grades." --- Eddy Merckx
"You drive like shit." ---The Car Whisperer

18.9.08

Thursday Hate - "The Rules"

Yeah, "The Rules."

Whatever.

I have a problem with just one rule:

What is with the orthodoxy that the man must both lift the lid to piss, and put it back down when he's done?

But she isn't expected to lift it when she's done? Why is she so pissed when she goes to pee and sits on the rim? I'm somehow responsible for her not looking where she's sitting and getting the shock of cold porcelain on her delicate backside?

Where did this iniquity come from? What is the basis of its origin?

You'd think she'd just be happy enough with me putting the rim up in the first place so she - if she's not looking - only gets cold porcelain and not warm piss.

Help me out here.

9 comments:

Erik said...

wouldn't cold piss on a cold seat be the ideal?

just close the lid to keep the dog out and everyone's happy... except the dog.

The Car Whisperer said...

I am not looking for solutions...I am looking for sycophantic sympathy. See you tomorrow.

Jeff said...

You will never win this battle.

Jeff of MargaretAndJeff said...

I win! Uh...what?

FixedXorBroken said...

Your supposed to close the lid before flushing anyways. It is much more sanitary because it prevents fecal aerosols from floating around.

The Car Whisperer said...

"Fecal aerosols" wins. Will win everytime. Sorry Jeff.

Jeff said...

You guys are gross.

Calvin said...

Amen, but you could just take the seat off. That would let her know who's boss around the house...or a swift kick to the ass...

Apertome said...

Why not just skip the "lifting" part for a few days and see how that works out? I bet she'll change her tune about putting it back down, if you promise to lift it first from that point forward.