"It never gets any easier. You just go faster." ---Greg Lemond
"Don't buy upgrades. Ride up grades." --- Eddy Merckx
"You drive like shit." ---The Car Whisperer

10.4.09

Dear Zach

Dear Zach,

I hope you read the comments here and realize the error in your thinking. And specially after consulting with Michigan’s vehicle codes. The roads are for everyone.

Being delayed to your next red light because you had to wait to pass a cyclist safely is not a legitimate reason for killing him or her. How is waiting to pass a cyclist safely any different than waiting to pass a mail truck or other slow vehicle? Just because they are a cyclist absolves you and gives you the right to run them over?

As it is, your mental processes in this line of reasoning expose your lack of intelligence, as well as your insecurity over your incredibly small penis, which you attempt to compensate for by flying into a rage at being inconvenienced by someone whom you view as “weaker” than you – a false perception given off by the fact that you are encased in a steel, 4-wheeled, C02 generator. But, sorry the 200 horse power between your legs does not make your tiny little penis – rendered shriveled and useless by years of drinking Bud Light, listening to Corn and Linkin Park, and repeated viewings of Rob Schnieder movies – any larger.

This type of mentality is going the way of the mammoth. It’s time to take a more thoughtful approach to getting around, consuming and wasting less, consolidating our resources and using them in smarter ways, and just plain getting along with other people.

Which excludes running them over because they’re in the way.

3 comments:

Matt said...

I hope Zach dies in a fire...until he dies from it. The fire.

BBVP said...

You can tell he is a douche bag since he does drive a Saturn afterall.

Illinoisfrank said...

I took a different approach.