What was your dumbest crash, ever? Regardless of bike, location, race/commute/circus-bear-trike whatever...
The scene: Friday night, Logan Square. I'd gotten my race bike back earlier that evening from Mission Bay after some much needed maintanence. I'd put on my new cleats and was headed out for a quick recovery ride, and to check and see if they'd been able to take care of all the noises that were coming out of my headset, plus anything else I was completely paranoid about.
It's about 10pm. I head north on Kedzie for several blocks, jumping several times and torquing the shit out of the handlebars and don't hear any noise. I turn around and then head west on Wrightwood, past the apartment in the other direction. Kick a few times, nice easy spin, getting loose for Saturday's long ride. I turn around at Pulaski.
Heading back, almost at Sawyer, I sight my line up to the sidewalk and metal gate out front. Planning on a little self-showy flair on a quick dismount. I make my cocky approach like Sorriano on a shallow fly ball...
...and miss the ramp, and hit the curb straight on.
I crash right on the sidewalk in front of my fucking apartment on an AR ride.
Rash on top my of SLO crash scars, swollen elbow and hip, and a flat front tire.
And to pile it on...as I'm lying there, swearing on the pavement (at least I wasn't in kit) a creaking, squeaking commuter comes slowly rolling by, straight out of a John Hughes movie. Doesn't even give me a second look.
Post your stories in the comments.
Showing posts with label funny (gay). Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny (gay). Show all posts
12.5.08
29.1.08
I Am Thor...
...tho thore I can't even pith.
I did hack squats on the Smith machine yesterday, single-leg lunge-style. 4 sets of 6 reps at 235 lbs.
ow.
I did hack squats on the Smith machine yesterday, single-leg lunge-style. 4 sets of 6 reps at 235 lbs.
ow.
24.1.08
3.12.07
Did you see the same game I just saw?
Bart Scott is going to get shanked by one of Ray Lewis' friends tonight.
24.11.07
Dumbass.
So everyone has those little "moments" on their bike...you know the one I'm talking about. You're spinning along, riding the same route you've ridden 1,000 times, daydreaming, on complete autopilot. Your hand are only loosely on the bars, and you're barely aware you are even on the bike as you think about what you're going to have for lunch or what other movie that actor was in you were just watching before you left...when - BUMP! - you are shaken from your reverie just in time to recover your form and get your hands back on the bars, with a sheepish grin, hoping nobody just saw you...
Sometimes.
I couldn't shift my weight back over the rear wheel quick enough and thought, "at least I'm not going that fast," when whack! I was on the ground. Just past the Oak Street Beach curve, I'd hit the last of those big asphalt scars on the lake front path, and completely lost control.
The next thing I knew there was a passer-by who helped me up and asked me if I was OK. I don't remember much of what I said, other than maybe, "I'm fine." So then I'm alone, and as I look down the path, I realize I can't remember which direction I am going. Or where I came from. Am I going to work? Or coming from work? I remember looking at my phone for the time and seeing it was it was 2:45. After what seemed like only a couple minutes of sitting on the steps along the path trying to get my bearings I looked again and it was 25 minutes later.
Again I looked down the path and struggled to remember. Where had I just come from? What was I doing before this? And as I struggled the synapses began to reconnect. I hit the Recent Calls button on my phone and rang Katy. Thankfully she answered right away, and I must have seemed pretty foggy still because she said she'd be there immediately. Later she told me that I'd asked her if I was with her that morning. It also took me until then to remember that I'd lifted weights with a teammate that morning, as well. Soon it was all back and I asked her to call work for me since I couldn't seem to get connected through 411.
My face hurt and I noticed my knee had a hole in it on my winter bibs as I walked under the overpass to get to the Chicago/LSD intersection to wait for Katy to come and pick me up. I looked in the glass on the law library and I was missing a little skin on my swelling left jaw.
She watched over me last night, making sure I didn't fall asleep until it was time to go to bed. We had pizza and watched bad TV while she sewed up my torn balaclava and winter bibs.
The head feels fine, no other symptoms such as nausea or dizziness, other than my skin missing a layer of skin on my jaw. My knee is a bit painful, and I was in fact on my way to the team ride this morning when the knee pain got a little bit more than tolerable, and I realized it was probably better to rest it.
So here I am, blogging of course, when I should be catching up on house work, and drinking coffee. But I have my memory, for now at least, if not my pride. In one more week I have health insurance again, and then I can have these dumbass moments all I want.
In the meantime, I'll just pay more attention.
Sometimes.
I couldn't shift my weight back over the rear wheel quick enough and thought, "at least I'm not going that fast," when whack! I was on the ground. Just past the Oak Street Beach curve, I'd hit the last of those big asphalt scars on the lake front path, and completely lost control.
The next thing I knew there was a passer-by who helped me up and asked me if I was OK. I don't remember much of what I said, other than maybe, "I'm fine." So then I'm alone, and as I look down the path, I realize I can't remember which direction I am going. Or where I came from. Am I going to work? Or coming from work? I remember looking at my phone for the time and seeing it was it was 2:45. After what seemed like only a couple minutes of sitting on the steps along the path trying to get my bearings I looked again and it was 25 minutes later.
Again I looked down the path and struggled to remember. Where had I just come from? What was I doing before this? And as I struggled the synapses began to reconnect. I hit the Recent Calls button on my phone and rang Katy. Thankfully she answered right away, and I must have seemed pretty foggy still because she said she'd be there immediately. Later she told me that I'd asked her if I was with her that morning. It also took me until then to remember that I'd lifted weights with a teammate that morning, as well. Soon it was all back and I asked her to call work for me since I couldn't seem to get connected through 411.
My face hurt and I noticed my knee had a hole in it on my winter bibs as I walked under the overpass to get to the Chicago/LSD intersection to wait for Katy to come and pick me up. I looked in the glass on the law library and I was missing a little skin on my swelling left jaw.
She watched over me last night, making sure I didn't fall asleep until it was time to go to bed. We had pizza and watched bad TV while she sewed up my torn balaclava and winter bibs.
The head feels fine, no other symptoms such as nausea or dizziness, other than my skin missing a layer of skin on my jaw. My knee is a bit painful, and I was in fact on my way to the team ride this morning when the knee pain got a little bit more than tolerable, and I realized it was probably better to rest it.
So here I am, blogging of course, when I should be catching up on house work, and drinking coffee. But I have my memory, for now at least, if not my pride. In one more week I have health insurance again, and then I can have these dumbass moments all I want.
In the meantime, I'll just pay more attention.
23.8.07
Question...
What's the deal with the "road construction" wherein they simply rip out a strip of pavement only to repave over it again 2 weeks later?
I would guess this was some sort of racket between the union and the city to prop up job hours, but Chicago is completely free of any corruption, so that couldn't be the case. Well, today was the first time I actually saw crews working. 8 crewmen and two steamrollers for about 500 square feet of repaving at the corner of Elston and Kedzie. Traffic was backed up past Belmont. Excellent. I usually only see their handiwork for the first time upon realizing I have a pinch flat.
The city that works. If they need job hours so badly why did it take Milwaukee Avenue so long to get repaved through Wicker Park? 2 summers before this was done they completely resurfaced North Avenue between Damen and Ashland 3 times in as many months! And what about the Oak Street Beach curve on the Path? Or between Monroe and Roosevelt? Something tells me the distribution of road work funds among the aldermen at a city council meeting resembles a 2nd grade lunch table of 2 fat bullies - who've already had more than their fair share - and 5 skinny kids all fighting over 3 cookies.
I would guess this was some sort of racket between the union and the city to prop up job hours, but Chicago is completely free of any corruption, so that couldn't be the case. Well, today was the first time I actually saw crews working. 8 crewmen and two steamrollers for about 500 square feet of repaving at the corner of Elston and Kedzie. Traffic was backed up past Belmont. Excellent. I usually only see their handiwork for the first time upon realizing I have a pinch flat.
The city that works. If they need job hours so badly why did it take Milwaukee Avenue so long to get repaved through Wicker Park? 2 summers before this was done they completely resurfaced North Avenue between Damen and Ashland 3 times in as many months! And what about the Oak Street Beach curve on the Path? Or between Monroe and Roosevelt? Something tells me the distribution of road work funds among the aldermen at a city council meeting resembles a 2nd grade lunch table of 2 fat bullies - who've already had more than their fair share - and 5 skinny kids all fighting over 3 cookies.
9.8.07
Free Baconators
It's going to take all night to wash the grease stain out of Tribune Plaza.
Doesn't Wendy's have enough of their own stores that they have to take over public space to hawk their burgers? Who controls that space? I hope that if it's the Tribune, they exercise full disclosure the next time the run an article on the American Obesity Epidemic. Much like society as whole, 60% of the line waiting for a free Baconator was morbidly obese.
And it's not just confined to Tribune Plaza. All up and down the Mag Mile I was accosted by assholes wearing stupid red wigs with wired braids - "Did you get yer Wendys?! A-heee-yulck!"
Our public space in these modern times are our temples. And they are being sold to the highest bidder:
Jeremiah 7:11
Doesn't Wendy's have enough of their own stores that they have to take over public space to hawk their burgers? Who controls that space? I hope that if it's the Tribune, they exercise full disclosure the next time the run an article on the American Obesity Epidemic. Much like society as whole, 60% of the line waiting for a free Baconator was morbidly obese.
And it's not just confined to Tribune Plaza. All up and down the Mag Mile I was accosted by assholes wearing stupid red wigs with wired braids - "Did you get yer Wendys?! A-heee-yulck!"
Our public space in these modern times are our temples. And they are being sold to the highest bidder:
Jeremiah 7:11
11Has this house, which is called by My name, become a den of robbers in your eyes? Behold, even I have seen it, saith the LORD.
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