Tuesday Pastiche

First, it's a bit early in the week for it, but...

ah, summer blooms! Along with the flowers and leaves and the pretty girls with barely any clothes on along Chicago's lakefront...

...so too bloom the amateurs on tri-bikes and no handling skills to speak of, "training" during rush hour...

...so too bloom the frumpy, middle-aged women named Helen and Bev, Joyce and Donna, who fly into jumpy, waving panic at the words, "on your left" as if a bicycle was the last thing they expected to encounter as they walked 4 abreast over a yellow line in the heart of the third largest city in the country...

...so blooms the hate.

Hate the path. Hate it.

I was up at 4:30 to do sprints at Montrose harbor with three others. Suck it.

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Bike to Work Week Haiku:

Cage, begone with you.
We'd rather spend our money
On more thoughtful things.

Than polluting smog,
And a big fat ass that you
Got at the drive-thru.

A bright, pink helmet
Fuel you eat instead of pump
And sexy, tan legs

Are much better ways
To lead you to happiness.
A "Hemi?" So what?

Ditch the car and gym...
Sunshine,wind, and blowing hair are
Better than stale air.

Hand over your keys.
Abandon the Cage of Rage.
You are free to be.


Leave the car, stop your road raging, embrace alternatives, and ride your ass to work! For according to the Chicago Bicycle Federation, anyone can do it!

Do something with your body for once. Help reduce congestion, make the city a better place, and while you're at it, make YOU a better place...healthy, active people are much happier.

Here's another great resource to deal with all of your lame excuses. No shower? Don't matter. Too far? Don't matter. What if it rains? Get a rain jacket, pussy. Get real. I bike out to Northbrook for a round-tripper of 40 miles two or three times a week...you can do the 15 miler downtown everyday. And if you get tired or have a flat, the buses have bike racks, and the Metra trains have room too...

And in all seriousness, be careful and watch out for thoughtless assholes.

See you at the Rally on Friday on Daley Plaza - 7am!